Three weeks is all it’s been. No more, no less. I’ve spent my time trying to distract my mind from the inevitable. This familiar feeling in my chest seems so alien. I’ve felt this before, yet I have no idea how to deal with it now. Every breath is a struggle as I try to remain calm. Racing heartbeats and nagging thoughts are my only companion and yet, I’m still empty… I find comfort in this old movie. It seems as though Continue reading →

 

An unfamiliar room, and an empty bed

The lights are on to chase away solitude

A foolish gesture to the darkness in my head

 

Without the half to my whole

Cold sheets burn warm skin

And stale air expands this lost soul

 

Behind me lies the life I’ve forsaken

Gone for just merely minutes, hours, days

An eternity away it seems to have taken

 

My absence foreboding of the time to come

When those mere minutes, hours, days

Slowly turn to weeks, to months, a year all in one

 

This time will serve as example

The time we’ve taken so simply for granted

Is far from realized, it’s far from ample

 

We can’t waste time, thinking for us it’ll stall

It moves faster and faster, no regard for love

We need to enjoy it, and to cherish it all

Every thought brought to voice is a calculated tip toe through broken glass and barbed wire. The knot in his stomach cinches tighter on the heart he struggles to console. The trouble he finds himself in now, is a new kind of hell. A hell full of fire, fueled by past trauma and disappointment. Where there should be light and happiness, is instead, a downward spiral of doubt and second thoughts.

On any other day, with any other person, life would flow like a stream. Passing through gently and effortlessly. Through obstacles and hairpin turns, never slowing to contemplate what may lie ahead. But now, on this day, with this person, Continue reading →

A pain in my chest

A thought in my mind

You never give rest

A reprieve I can’t find

 

You’re a rolling stone

This I’ve come to see

You’re fine all alone

You’re fine without me

 

I’ll never be the one you need

Only an addition

To the life you choose to lead

I’m along for the ride, fool to your contrition

 

So into the darkness of the future

I’ll cut my own wrists

Your apologies a suture

Despite the knives you’ve still to twist

 

Perhaps you’ll see

Perhaps you won’t care

The man in love, love eternally

The man whose heart you continue to tear

 

I’ll bleed my last

Dodging stones you cast

I’ll fall asleep

With promises you can’t keep

There’s never been a belief as sincere

As the one I have in you

The glimpses into the future are clear

I just pray, they don’t come true

With words like knives

I carved out my plea

Please don’t make me repeat past lives

Please don’t give up your love for me

Days turned to weeks

Minutes into hours

So quick to turn the cheek

The only suffering was ours

A touch, a kiss, a lover’s embrace

No heat, no fire, you seemed to erase

The passion was there, alas no more

It seems my life must have its encore

Once more I’ll stay

Alone, afraid, embarrassed to say

How you’ve made my poor heart feel

Because you know, exactly what I’d reveal

What’s mine is yours

This you know

What’s yours is yours

I pray you’ll never, reap what you sow

Midnight is for the dreamers

Broadcasting our broken hearts with heavy heels

Exhaling smoke like somber streamers

Echoing our torment, silent shouts searching for comfort in the way our chest feels

Continue reading →